awwwieee!

Awww.. I feel so bad. I’m still feeling guilty.
It all started on a morning a few days ago, I woke up and all of a sudden, it suddenly HIT ME! SOMETHING, just blew me away. It’s like when my mom got up one morning and felt like Jesus was calling for her = = (something like that)
I’ve realized that…. I’m a shopaholic and a super spendthrift!! WHERE THE HELL DID ALL MY MONEH GO AFTER WORKING FOR SUCH A FUCKING LONG TIME?! I record the sum of my salaries each month in a notebook, so I took it out and started summing up the grand total of my salaries. I got quite a shock when I found out what was the grand total. It turned out that, if I didn’t spend a cent of what I’ve earned, I could already have travelled to Europe and buy the ticket for the best seat back and forth TWICE. (=.=)…
Anyway the money I’ve spent was like spilt milk on the floor, it’s gone! But I’m here now trying to literally pick a towel and wipe off all the spilt milk and squeeze it back into a glass. (meaning ; put some money back into my bank account)
But the main reason why I was/is still feeling guilty is because I almost made Mr. Corn cry -_-
In the previous blog post I wrote that I’m quitting my night job soon, in June. But as I’ve wrote today I HAVE TO SAVE BACK SOME MONEY!!!! FUCCCCCCKKKK!!! -_- So I asked my mom to talk to corn. My mom just rolled her eyes and told me to go die and eat myself. (okay that’s false ) She just said that I promised him that I would work until June, and if I wanted to go back on my word I should talk to him NICELY.
While I was thinking on my whole speech and theory of “ Why I should work night jobs for few more months” I was also listening to a radio station - 98.7FM. The DJ said that, if you would want to talk about something serious/ something that might make a guy mad, first praise him about how he looks/his body/his sexual skills etc (anything that is superficial lah) then only start talking about the subject.
I listened and I thought that it was a good idea, so I praised corn about his car, his work efficiency, how good he is to everyone blab la bla.. then I started telling him about working nights until august. Immedietly his face turned as black as a piece of coal and started debating (he doesn’t dare to quarrel with me jek. So we debate) DARN THAT 98.7 FM! It’s either the stuff they talk about are crap or I’m a bad talker. After debating for like.. 1 hour? I got tired and wanted him to shut up. Sadly, I’m that kind of person that starts a fight but doesn’t know how to end it. Mom always told me that tears are one of the deadliest weapons that a girl could posses. So I used my so called “weapon”. And no I did not bite anyone’s dick off.
I thought some of my days in KL, all the sad stuff that had happened to me, and I looked like that I was going to C.R.Y. Mr. Corn immedietly hugged me and said he’s sorry sounding and kinda looking like he was gonna cry too. I thought *smirks*I AM A SIBEH GOOD ACTRESS LORH!!* But then, corn said that it just hurts everyone around me and my family +him working late nights plus it’s a dangerous place where I work etc. The main point was, I could actually see and feel that the way he felt and he was trying to tell me, was out of true pure concern. Not a male chavounist (that’s what I thought at first) Then I finally knew why he was mad when I told him that I was going to work till August. That’s when the OMG I FEEL SO BAD AND GUILTY feeling rushes up to your face and you start to blush like hell. =-=
The guilt still lingers on. But it gets lesser as the days past when you frantically tell yourself that its okay in your mind to try and forget it as fast as possible.
Yesterday, I was taking photos of some of my makeup that I’m intending to sell on JBT. Well it’s my used makeup, but I didn’t really use them much because my everyday makeup would only be eyeliner+ false eyelashes + sunscreen + concealer. Furthermore the products are still in mint condition! I thought that it would be a shame to just let them rot in my makeup box.
Now, when you buy makeup that’s a little more pricey than drugstore makeup, (e/g: m.a.c, shiseido, lancome, chanel ..you name it) I don’t know about other people, but I just LOVE the boxes that hold the makeup before you take it out. And I tend to collect them and place them in a big box. I thought that I would have a look at the boxes, take a walk down my makeup memory lane on what I’ve bought and what looks I did with them.
I couldn’t find the box! I’ve searched up and down for that big box of mine, and it seems to be missing L
So I asked my mom- THE WONDER WOMAN of the house- who knows where everything is kept if she had seen the box. She told me that she had thrown away the box. I was like WHAT THE FOCCACIA?! (-_____-) Those boxes contained my memories =(
My first time stepping into the MAC cosmetics store purchasing my ever first concealer, My first ever make up product bought from a make up counter…….
All GONE!! L L L
I fucking cried over those boxes!! ( Thinking back, that was quite a stupid thing to do. But I just couldn’t control! It felt like your family pet who lived with you for years got zapped by a laser and turned into dust!- well, something like that.)

I called Garfield as always. I didn’t bawl over the phone with her on the other line because my ego was controlling me. But I just had to let it out, so I called Corn. I have to say, he is one helluva good counsel = =” anyway I forgot what he said for the past half an hour on the phone, all I knew is, he got me a new cell phone when he came by at night.


It’s a W350I. Even though it isn’t a phone that is pro-functional or expensive, the thought of him trying to cheer me up just warms me. (>//<)

P.S : This happened a few days before I went to air papan, but I was lazy to blog about it = ="...
I am posting it now because when I'm about 60 years old in the far future, and blogspot doesn't "zap lak", I have something to laugh about. muahahaha!